Good News for “Bad” Meditators
If you’re a podcast junkie like me, you know the episodes where the podcast host summarizes the “top secrets to success” common to all their guests. The #1 is almost always some form of meditation or mindfulness practice.
For most people, the biggest obstacle to developing such a practice is “I’m not good at meditation”. Trust your recovering-perfectionist-overachiever sister here: There’s no such thing as being “good” at meditation. Let me explain.
The two most common types of meditation are:
Open monitoring meditation: A practice of letting thoughts appear, noticing them, and letting them go, without focusing or engaging in them. This type of practice improves metacognition—your ability to observe an experience without any reactions or judgments. It helps you develop awareness: The practice of noticing your thoughts in everyday life and not engaging in them so completely that you fully identify with them and forget they’re your thoughts, not you.
Focused attention meditation: This is the classic “focus on your breath” meditation. It improves your concentration abilities—your ability to focus in a world that does its best to bring your attention span to toddler level.
In open monitoring meditation, the goal isn't not to think—that’s impossible, but rather to notice when you think and let the thought go. In focused attention meditation, again it’s not about not thinking. It’s about noticing when you get distracted by a thought and bringing your awareness back to the breath. So there's no "wrong" or “bad” way to do this. If you sat down to meditate for 5 minutes, and after 4 minutes and 55 seconds noticed that you’re thinking, that’s success. Maybe the next time you’ll notice it after 4 minutes and 40 seconds. And so on.
Given that, it’s clear why meditation isn’t a goal that you achieve, it’s a practice. There isn’t some “target” focus or awareness level. There’s no widely-accepted definition of “being good at focusing” or “being good at awareness”. It’s about being better than you were before.
Meditation is very personal, so to develop a practice you may have to try various options and see what works for you. Some people like meditating on their own, and some like guided meditation; within guided meditation, people enjoy different styles.
I’m sure you’ve heard of meditation apps like Headspace and Calm. I wanted to share two free guided meditations that always make me feel more positive and open to possibilities, which is hard to do when the whole planet might melt in 10 years.
The first is “The Wheel of Awareness” by Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine. It’s a way to “open awareness and cultivate a larger, more expansive container of consciousness”, by practicing focusing your attention on concepts of various “distance” from you—from your body and senses, to other people, to the entire world. I highly recommend this fascinating podcast episode with Dr. Siegel: Apple, Spotify.
The second one is Vishen Lakhiani’s “Six Phase Meditation”, which is a “mind-directing” exercise more than a traditional meditation. It walks you through 6 areas of focus meant to improve your life: Connection, gratitude, forgiveness, visualizing your perfect future, daily intention, and blessing.
Keep calm and meditate!
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