Checking in on the New You
Can you believe it’s already the end of April?
How are your intentions or expectations for the year going?
Reflecting on mine, it occurred to me that there are two groups of intentions: Those we want for the outcome and those we want for the process. This distinction matters.
Take intentions around getting in shape or losing weight. Most people, myself included, don’t love working out or monitoring their diets; they do it for the results. I would be ecstatic if a fairy godmother waved a magic wand and made me strong, healthy, and thin for life, without me ever having to set foot in a gym or curb my croissant cravings. Therefore, outcome-oriented intentions require cultivating discipline and developing the right habits.
Then there are the intentions we set for the process. If we feel that there’s something more for us than what we’ve been able to actualize so far in life, we aren’t just looking for results—we want the challenging, exciting, educational, and creative process that produces them. If I set an intention to experiment with a new artistic medium and ten brilliant artworks in that medium magically appeared, I wouldn’t feel particularly satisfied. If I wanted to write a book and ChatGPT wrote it for me, it would be a somewhat empty achievement. The fulfillment and joy are mostly in the process, painful as it may be at times.
Process-oriented intentions seem like they require time and discipline, but what they primarily require is working through doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs. We want to do the work, we just doubt our ability to do it and/or achieve worthy results.
I don’t have limiting beliefs when it comes to the gym—I just have fifty other things I’d rather do with my time. I don’t have fears around my diet—I just adore baked goods. But when I procrastinate on an intention that involves a challenging creative process, or the development of a new ability, it’s because there’s some fear or limiting belief I haven’t identified and worked through.
When we intend to “find time for” or “develop a habit” in January, fail at it by February, and give up on it by April, we need to ask: Did I give up because I don’t like it (in which case I can either be okay without it or find another way to make it happen), or is it because I haven’t addressed head-on some of the fears and limiting beliefs associated with it?
We’re one-third(!) of the way through 2025. If your intentions for the year are already history, this is the time to give them another look.
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