Noticing and Decoding Fear Responses
I’ve been writing, creating my courses, and making art for a couple of years. Still, for most people in my network, I was a technology product manager with a cute hobby (if they even knew about my “extracurricular activities”).
Last week I posted a sort of “announcement” on social media, making it clear that art, writing, and helping people find their purpose was now my full-time creative career.
I noticed I was usually nervous to post. When I mentioned it to a close friend, she asked me why. My immediate answer was that I didn’t want to seem presumptuous, as in, “Why would I think anyone cares enough about what I do to feel the need to announce it?”
But unusual reactions always have something to teach me, and I sensed I needed to dig deeper—which for me means either journaling on the question or simply keeping it in the back of my mind, so the answer comes when my mind wanders. It didn’t take long to dawn on me.
That post was a declaration that I’m no longer the person people thought I was.
A new path in life means, in a sense, a new identity. Most of my network knew me as a technology person. This post was my proverbial “coming out”. I had taken on a different identity long ago, but knowing it and sharing it proactively with the world are two different things.
Admitting it publicly means people might think I’m crazy, stupid, or, even worse, insignificant. To my unconscious mind, this translates into rejection and abandonment. Neurologically speaking, rejection and pain are the same.
The lovely reactions to the post reminded me that our fears around significance or rejection are often baseless.
Some people loved the post because they liked my story or related to it in some way.
Some people care about me no matter what I do.
The rest are people who don’t care about me and don’t care about what I do because it doesn’t apply to them. What they think or don’t think matters… not at all.
What unusual reactions did you experience recently? What can they teach you?
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