When I Think… I Often Mean…
Over the past seven years, I’ve developed a journaling practice. One of my biggest insights from it is how often I use imprecise language to—somewhat unconsciously—lie to myself.
I found that I’m (unique but) not special, and many of us use seemingly innocuous phrases as substitutes for more uncomfortable truths. Here is a partial list:
I’m not good at this.
I have a limiting belief that I’m not good at this.
I’m unwilling to spend the time required to get good at this.
I’m afraid to fail at this so I’d rather not try.
I’m afraid of other people’s judgment if I try to be good at this.
I don’t have time for X.
X is not a priority for me right now.
X may require me to admit something I don’t want to face, for example, that I’m bigger than I’m making myself to be.
If I like X I may feel bad for wasting so much time not doing X, so I’d rather not know.
X has an uncertain outcome and I’d rather not fail or be uncomfortable.
You have to work hard to make money.
Hating my job is normal—jobs that pay good money are not meant to be fun.
I need to prove I’m worthy and I’m going to mask it by saying it’s for the money.
I think more highly of myself if I sacrifice or suffer to achieve something.
I avoid self-introspection or conflict by telling myself it’s normal for things to be this hard.
I’m afraid they’ll think X about me.
I already think X about myself.
I’m afraid I’ll realize X is true about me.
I prefer to have a fake relationship than a difficult conversation.
I want them to like me.
I’d rather cancel my own needs than cause them discomfort.
I’m only feeling fear because my instincts evolved when being ostracized from the tribe was a death sentence.
My life is fine. I’m fine.
I’d rather cancel myself than not belong (even though canceling myself means fake-belonging).
I’d rather put aside my needs than make myself or anyone else uncomfortable.
I’d rather stay safe than take risks for my growth and fulfillment.
I need to be in control and keeping my world predictable is the only way to manage that.
When you think… what do you mean?
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