When Life Is a Little Crooked

These past six months, I felt like I was constantly trying to swim upstream, and I’m no salmon.

I took a six-week break from work to help the people near and dear to me with some major challenges. I also spent countless hours before and after helping with said challenges remotely.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I spent weeks worrying about the physical health and safety of my family and had a hard time focusing.
And I experimented with new things in my art practice that turned out to be much more difficult and time-consuming than I expected.

I spent many weeks hand-weaving (as in—making each stitch by hand with a needle) a 3’x4’ rug, only to realize it’s… crooked. I tried to fix it and made it worse. The fix of the fix also didn’t pan out, and cost me another week of work. Some artwork I spent thousands of dollars to have professionally framed turned out to be… also crooked, because when I stretched the canvas, I didn’t meet the 1/16” level of precision required.

Externally, I don’t have nearly as much to show as I’d hoped.

Internally, however, I’ve processed concepts that were brand new to me six months ago, and now feel easy and obvious.
I know a lot more about framing, rug-making, and several other areas I’ve experimented with in my art practice.
I didn’t think it was possible to feel more grateful for the people in my life, but I have a whole new level of appreciation for my family and friends.
And I have a clearer picture of where I’m going and how all the things I’m doing form a cohesive picture.

It’s been a period of unplanned breaks, deep emotions, and crooked art. But also of supporting and being supported by the people I love, and growing as a human and as an artist.

We live in a world where if we don’t have something to show for our efforts, we feel like we’re falling short. I certainly do. But sometimes, the change is internal. There’s nothing new on the outside, but you changed so much on the inside, you’re not even the same person you were six months ago. It’s that internal change that is the catalyst for the next level of external growth. 

2025 has been challenging for many people in my orbit, for various reasons. If it’s been challenging for you, I see you.

I hope you can see yourself.

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