Collapsing Banks and Non-Attachment Practices

I wrote a lot about desires, actions, and outcomes lately, so it’s no surprise I got to practice what I preach.

I've lived in San Francisco for many years and recently decided that it’s time to leave. I happen to own my apartment and planned to put it up for sale in April. Everything was going swimmingly—until Silicon Valley Bank collapsed on Friday. The extent of the fallout wasn’t clear, but the potential collapse of the technology sector's financial underpinnings in the Bay Area didn't bode well for San Francisco real estate.

You see, I already have desires and plans for the coming months. I want to travel. I want to spend time in places I might consider moving to. I dream of several months of adventures and experiments, which I've been excited about for months. But first, I need to sell the apartment. "Why not rent out?", you may ask. There are many reasons, but the bottom line is my gut says I need to sell, so I'm selling. 

When I heard the news, every terrible scenario started running through my head. What if there's a collapse and I'm stuck? What if it takes years to recover? What if what if what if? 

I was gloomily staring at a heap of packing materials when I realized what I was doing. 

I was taking action, but I was also attaching to the outcome and timeline: Sell, then travel, find a place, and move before next winter.

I was attached to selling in April when I could sell in May. Or September. Or next year.
I was attached to selling. It feels intuitively right, and I follow my intuition, but it's not the only option. 
I was attached to traveling when I could do all the things I want to do in my business a lot more easily at home than in a foreign environment.

What if staying in San Francisco for a while longer could be the best thing that ever happened to me? What if there's a much better plan I'm not seeing now?

As soon as I opened up to the possibility, I felt the tension release. A part of me still wasn't happy that my plans might not pan out. A part of me still cringed when I saw that bank stocks were down significantly on Monday morning. But I kept seeing what my mind was doing, felt the anxiety in my body, and reminded myself that it was just my ego thinking it knew better—until I felt my body relax again.

I'm off to pack some books. Maybe they'll go into storage in April. Maybe they'll sit in a corner of my apartment for a few more months. I'm going to get my adventure either way. 

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